By Sarah Henderson
We have learned a great deal this past year about not taking people for granted and making the most of every moment we have with those we hold dear.
Quarantines, lockdowns, virtual learning and working from home have given us a mountain of time to be home with our loved ones. However, when we feel our time together seems endless, we may begin to take it for granted. Are you taking the time to spend true quality one-on-one time with your kids? Even though right now you likely have a vast quantity of time with them….is it quality? Here are some easy ways to make sure that the time you are spending together is quality:
Have a specific day set aside that each child can look forward to. Some people pick a specific day of the week, like every Tuesday, or a set date, such as the child’s birth date. For example, a child born on the 12th would have their special one-on-one time on the 12th of each month. For busier or bigger families, it may mean only one special day per month – but all the more important to stick with it and make it matter.
Schedule your time as you would any other meeting and stick to it!
Let your child know you are looking forward to your time with them.
Turn monitors and screens off – be in the moment only with your child.
Don’t answer the phone. Let them know that they are your priority.
Make your scheduled time all about your time with only that child – no other siblings, cousins, or friends. For older siblings, it could mean being with them after the younger children go to bed or are down for a nap. Maybe it means tag-teaming parents vs kids. The important thing is to figure out what works best for you and your family.
Ask questions about their day, their interests and their dreams. Don’t use this as a teaching moment or time to lecture – use it as a moment to listen, get to know them, and let them open up to you. Avoid topics that cause friction or conflict between you.
Be flexible, be creative.
So much of our world today revolves around computer, phone, or television screens. Don’t let these screens take away the value of your time together. It’s also important not to fall into a cycle of trying to one-up or go over the top with activities and time spent together. Your time together should be something valued purely for the time spent, not money spent.
The options are limitless, but here are a few ideas to inspire you for screen-free entertainment:
Go for a walk, bike ride, or roller skate
Go for ice cream or make ice cream sundaes at home
Throw a football or Frisbee around in the backyard
Go fishing
Go swimming
Do a puzzle
Have a picnic
Bake a dessert together
Play flashlight tag
Play a board game
Reminisce as you look through old photos together
Build a snow fort and then hang out in it together
Play basketball
Make s’mores around a fire pit
Teach your child a game you enjoyed when you were their age
Learn a new art together – origami, painting, pottery
Have a spa day
Visit an animal shelter
Try a new recipe and then enjoy eating it together
Stargaze while enjoying a thermos of hot cocoa
An article in the Washington Post points out, “The more time a teen spends engaged with their mother, the fewer instances of delinquent behavior. And the more time teens spend with both their parents together in family time, such as during meals, the less likely they are to abuse drugs and alcohol and engage in other risky or illegal behavior. They also achieve higher math scores.” Why not take advantage of this opportunity to spend time with your child? You will never get this time back and you’ll never regret the time invested in a relationship with your child.
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